Someone to watch over me
by Cmdr. Phantom
Summary: Chap 8 is up! Sam has a boyfriend, and Jack is willing to accept it - but can Sam's man deal with their friendship?
1. Default Chapter

Title - Someone to watch over me.  
  
Summery - There's a new man in Sam's life, and it isn't Jack. But will Sam be able to juggle her work, her love and her best friend without tipping the balance?  
  
Rating - PG  
  
Disclaimer - Stargate Sg-1 one is owned by people other then me, and I make NO money outta this. unless of course someone 'wants' to pay me. *g*  
  
A/N - To my dearest, faithful readers. It's about one thirty in the morning and I think I've completely lost it. This story however has been a LONG time in the making as while not yet being finished, is well on it's way. You need to bare with me though, I know it starts out horribly, but I 'promise' you it'll get good. I swear, I won't kill anybody this time! Oh, and this is written in POV, both Sam and Jack's. It hopefully shouldn't be too hard to follow, I've left a name at the top so you know who is who. Not my usual style of writing so go easy on me 'k? It hasn't been beta'd.. I'm too impatient to wait for my Beta to get back to me, so forgive me for spelling/grammar mistakes. I wanna dedicate it though (cause dedications are so fun) to a bunch of people who will probably never read this, and who you guys'll never know. But I don't care! It's for the lovely girls at aa.com, who mean everything to me.  
  
Feedback - Common, this is getting so OLD. Rules are simple. No feedback, no fic. Overstand? :P  
  
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:Sam:  
  
"Retire?" I stared at my superior officer with disbelieve written all over my face, and I was in too much shock to mask it, "Sir, are you sure?"  
  
Colonel Jack O'Neill, former CO and best friend, leant back in his chair, "Common Carter, I was meant to retire five and a half years ago." He shrugged, "And with this new guy in and them taking me off active duty, there's nothing for me to do anymore."  
  
I nearly choked. He was deliberately trying to make himself seem less important then he was. He'd been doing it ever since the new General had arrived. Jack had stepped down from active duty with a considerable amount of pride left intact shortly after Hammond had retired, presuming he would ultimately assume command of the SGC. But then the top brass had sent a General with a sympathetic ear to the NID over, and Jack had begun to talk about wanting out. He'd even tried to go back on missions, but no matter how high he went, there was always a door closing in his face. Almost as if the Air Force wanted him out as quickly, and as quietly, as possible. But I couldn't let him leave with out a fight. "We need you here." I told him earnestly, "We wouldn't be standing here right now if it wasn't for you. Besides, who's gonna keep me inline?"  
  
"I'm sure Earth will survive without me." He grinned, then his eyes locked with mine, "Besides," his contact broke quickly and he went back to being engrossed with his fingers, "I'm not disappearing off the planet. We'll see each other around." He looked back up at me, suddenly concerned, "Right?"  
  
I smiled at him, provoking on of his own in response, "Ya sure ya betcha."  
  
-------  
  
It was two weeks later when I saw him again, standing on his porch with my wrist bound tightly and a not-quite-healed gash running from the bottom of my left cheek to half way down my throat. We had until my hand healed off on downtime, and there's was nothing I wanted to do but see Jack. Wrapped up in three layers of clothing against the wind that was blowing and the snow that threatened to fall, I knocked on his door.  
  
Jack opened it like he'd been standing right beside it, waiting for me. "What the hell happened?" He asking, his eyes falling across my face, then down to my arm. He ushered me inside.  
  
"Oh you know. The usual." I said tiredly, "Goa'ulds. Staff weapons. Zat guns." I practically fell onto Jack's couch and continued talking while he disappeared into the kitchen, "We were ambushed. I don't even know how they knew we were there. Daniel got beat up pretty bad, and Hailey got her fist taste of a Zat gun."  
  
Jack let out a small chuckle at the thought of the newest edition to SG-1, then came back into the lounge room, pressing a mug of hot coffee into my hand before sitting next to me, "Everyone alright?"  
  
I nodded, "Nothing serious. I have to get back to the base sometime tomorrow, but I couldn't stand that place, not with the NID nosing around. There is only so much of them you can take. Besides," I looked up at him, "I was wondering how you were doing."  
  
"Oh great." Jack said sarcastically, "The highlight of my day is getting the mail."  
  
I smiled and he offered one of his own in response, "Sorry to just drop in.." I started, but he cut me off.  
  
"Don't want to hear it Carter." He stood up, "I was just about to make dinner. You want?"  
  
I nodded, grateful I didn't have to think at that very moment. I was bone weary, and I started to wonder how Jack managed to command for so many years without burning out. After dinner and a couple of drinks, we moved into the lounge room and I fell back onto his couch, tucking my legs up under me. Jack moved to sit on the easy chair, then changed his mind and sat down next to me, shuffling over so his legs were pretty much squashing my feet. I smiled, shifting over so I could lean against his chest, pushing my feet up against the armrest. Jack's hand fell to my shoulder, and gave it a tight squeeze before reaching for the remote to turn the tv on. Then he fell back into the comfortable position and I snuggled back up next to him. We stayed like that, watching the late night movie, and the only time he moved was to get more beer bottles from the fridge.  
  
A few hours later, my eyes drifted towards the clock "Woah. It's late. I should get going."  
  
Jack, craning his neck to look at me with his deep brown eyes, "Carter, your in no position to drive home." He motioned to the empty beer bottles sitting on his coffee table, "Why don't you go crash in my room? I'll stay here on the couch."  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Yeah, why not?" Jack stretched out on the too small couch and shrugged.  
  
I nodded, moving into his room and snuggling into the warm blankets, listening to the wind howling outside, and wondering how Jack was going deal out on the cold lounge room. It really wasn't fair, leaving him out there. I stood up, moving back into the lounge room where Jack was trying unsuccessfully to get comfortable. I waited until he noticed me before speaking, "Why don't you use your bed sir?" I waited for recognition to pass his face before continuing, "It's way too cold to for you to stay out here. And it's not like we haven't slept in the same bed before."  
  
Jack stood staring at me, and I shrugged, moving back into this bedroom. He could follow me or not, but at least now I had given him the option. I snuggled back into the blanket, watching the doorway and getting that sinking suspicion that he wasn't coming. Which didn't make much sense. There was absolutely nothing wrong with.  
  
Then, suddenly, there he was, slipping quietly across the floor before pushing the covers back and getting lightly in to the bed. He grinned at me, and I smiled back at him before relaxing back against the pillows, turning to face my back to him and resting my hand under my head. Without preamble, Jack moved closer to me and wrapped a hand around my waist, pulling me against him.  
  
"It's cold Major." He whispered.  
  
I laughed, my hand finding his and I squeezed it before entwining our fingers, "Can I trust you?"  
  
There was a pause, then his lips moved next to my ear and he whispered, barely audible, "With your life."  
  
-------  
  
:Jack:  
  
She was moving. Before I was even fully awake, I knew Carter was leaving. She was inching out of my arms, trying not to wake me. I don't know why she bothered. She couldn't even get out of her tent on the other side of a clearing without me knowing. Damned military training had me up at the slightest movement that didn't belong. And the woman that had spent the night at my side trying to leave with out telling me was defiantly wrong. I waited until she'd gotten off the bed before speaking. "Escaping?" I asked lazily, not bothering to open my eyes.  
  
The movement I could hear stopped, and opening my eyes I found her standing at the foot of my bed, looking at me with something close to a smile on her lips, "Actually sir, I was going to grab some coffee."  
  
"Ah." I responded, sitting up, "Infamous caffeine. Mind if I join you?"  
  
Carter, who had just turned to walk out of the room, stopped and look back at me, "This, uh, is your house colonel." She reminded me gently.  
  
I winced at the obvious, and nodded, "That it is." I got up and followed her into to kitchen, moving past her to start the coffee machine. After the coffee at the base, I liked to enjoy something that at least resembled coffee beans when I was home. "So, Carter. What you got planned for today?"  
  
Carter curled up into a chair in the dining room, and I leaned against the bench watching her, "Actually sir, I need to get back to the base. Janet was pretty explicate in her 'no longer then 24 hour absence'."  
  
I laughed in understanding, "Napoleonic power-monger that woman."  
  
Carter flashed me one of her 100-watt smiles and we drunk our coffee's in silence. I watched her over the rim of my coffee cup, thinking how lucky I was to have her as a friend. Not only a friend, but my best friend, someone I could give my life to, and trust that she'd give it back to me in working order. She was such a rare woman, so intelligent and undeniably beautiful, and I was gifted with her trust and respect. I couldn't ask for more.  
  
-----  
  
:Sam:  
  
"Where have you been?"  
  
I winced walking into the infirmary. Janet was not a happy camper this morning. "I tried calling you for most of the night!"  
  
"I'm fine Janet. I didn't need checking up on." I told her, moving up to sit on the hard hospital bed.  
  
"Where were you?" She demanded, and I sighed.  
  
"With the Colonel."  
  
Her pause caused me too look up. I couldn't believe the shock I saw. "All night?" she asked.  
  
"Yes." I looked at her a moment, before swatting her shoulder with a grin, "It wasn't even like that. I had a few to drink and he didn't want me driving home."  
  
"You sure nothing happened?" She teased.  
  
"He's my friend Janet!" I protested, then looked at the floor, "Besides... I'm seeing someone."  
  
There was another pause from Janet, and I looked up at her again. If she was shocked before, she was about to pass out now. She was staring at me, unable to find her voice to speak, and I started to get a little irritated. "Is that so hard to believe?"  
  
"No!" Janet's response was immediate, and she smiled at me, "Sam... it was just a shock. Why didn't you say anything?"  
  
I shrugged. I really didn't have an answer for her. My private life was exactly that, private and mine, and I had been trying to avoid the shocked looks from people if they knew. It was no secret to me that I didn't have much of a social life, and it didn't bother me. What bothered me was everyone else deciding I needed one.  
  
"Does Jack know?"  
  
I found the question odd. It wouldn't matter if he did or not. We weren't involved, as I'd just taken pains to explain, and I didn't see Jack in that way. We were friends, close friends, but friends just the same. I'd trust my life with this man, but I could never picture us in bed. It just wasn't like that. "Yeah he does."  
  
"What did he say?"  
  
I shot Janet a confused look, then sighed and answered her anyway, "He's happy for me. I really like this man Janet. He's English, a physics teacher. Kind and funny, extremely romantic."  
  
Janet smiled, "And does this man have a name?"  
  
"Guy. We met at a conference almost a year ago, and have been seeing each other on and off since. I haven't had so much time, but he understands." I looked at Janet earnestly, "He understands Janet, and doesn't ask questions when I disappear for days on end."  
  
"He sounds nice Sam, he really does. A question though. Does Guy know you spent last night at the Colonels?"  
  
I paused. Guy didn't know. I'd never told him about Jack, about my relationship with my former CO. Not that I had anything to defend, but I knew men. I knew if he found out it would be taken the wrong way, and I could loose him. Suddenly my stomach lurched. Loose Guy. That thought was almost as traumatizing as the thought of loosing Jack. "I will." I said softly, "I'll tell him everything."  
  
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	2. Chap 2

A/N - Even though I didn't get quite the response I was looking for after the first chapter, I'm going to continue with this, because I can't wait till I get to the end. (trust me, it's good!) Hehe. Thanks to Fi for beta-ing, you can blame her for any mistakes. ;)  
  
Feedback - PLEASE guys! I live and breathe off these things!  
  
***********  
  
:Jack:  
  
I didn't want to do this. I mean, sure I was dying to meet Carter's new man, but not like this. I wanted it to be crowed; where I could observe the man discreetly without worrying he was just trying to impress me. But Carter had arranged lunch for us. Thankfully she'd invited Daniel, The Doc and Lt. Haley to come along too. Being alone with those two wasn't something I looked forward too. I was standing in Carters kitchen, tossing salad while she set the table. She was nervous, I could tell. She's never said anything, but I knew our opinion of him was going to matter to her. I knew she'd never be with a man that didn't match up to my standards. I felt so horrible, having that sort of control over her, but I was also secretly glad. Guy was the first man she'd ever introduced us too. I knew there'd been a few before, but except for vague references, they'd never seemed to be the main focus in her life. But this one was different. She spoke about him all the time, and even the way she spoke was different. Enthusiastic. Like he did matter. A great deal. The doorbell jarred me out of my thoughts, and Carter shot a glance in my direction before heading to the door. I watched out of the corner of my eye, still pretending to toss the salad as she opened it.  
  
Guy was tall, about my height. Dark hair that was neatly cropped, he was wearing jeans and a light blue shirt that fit him nicely. He was young, by my standards. Older than Carter though, but only by a few years. He looked casual and relaxed, and his face broke into a grin when he saw Carter. He reached for her, and I watched mutely as they shared a kiss.  
  
"I've got someone I want you to meet."  
  
Carter brought him over, and I finally got a decent look at him. His eyes were brown, but light and I could see the laughter in them. The most stressful day he'd ever had was probably marking the school papers so they would be in on time. His hand outstretched and he smiled again. "O'Neill right?"  
  
Carter always said I was a great judge of character, and my instincts told me straight away that this guy was one of those unique types no body ever wanted to let go of, "Jack." I smiled, shaking his hand firmly, "And you must be Guy."  
  
He nodded, "Sam tells me you're an Air Force Colonel?"  
  
"Retired." I came back automatically. I had to make that point clear to everyone, because no one seems to realize what it means, "I usually spend most of my time up in Minnesota now."  
  
"Fishing?"  
  
I looked up at him and smiled, "Let my secret out huh?"  
  
Guy grinned, "Sam might have mentioned something about it."  
  
"You guys should come up sometime." I offered, praying for some company for once. Ever since that first time I had invited Teal'c, he's never agreed to come back and Daniel has refused me more times then I'd asked. Carter.. well, she is another story all together.  
  
Daniel and the Doc arrived, and they were busy talking with Guy when I stole a few moments with Carter. "He's a nice guy." I told her honestly, and she beamed me back a smile.  
  
"I was hoping you'd say that." She involved herself again with arranging the crackers and things before stilling her hands and looking up at me, "I really like him Colonel."  
  
"I know." I didn't know what else to say, but it was evident by anyone's standards that she was hooked on this guy. Big time. "Just." What could I say? Turns out I didn't need to. Carter could read my thoughts.  
  
"It's okay Colonel, you don't have to worry. I won't do anything stupid."  
  
I nodded, "Stupid Carter? From you?" I chuckled as I went back to join the party.  
  
------  
  
:Sam:  
  
It was late morning when I woke up the next day. Guy was sleeping peacefully by my side, and I was a little surprised. Both of us were early risers, him by nature, me from years of military training, but for once I was content to sleep in. Last night had been great, and I'd finally braved the meeting between Jack and Guy. My biggest fear had been that they wouldn't get along, but everything had run smoothly, and Guy had told me later that he really liked Jack. The only problem was Guy still didn't realise the extent of my friendship with Jack. Janet had warned me for a second time, but I still didn't know how to bring the subject up, without making it seem like I had something to hide.  
  
Guy stirred beside me, and his eyes open. Just the site of them made my heart jump. He smiled at me, and I snuggled into his chest, wrapping my arms around him. "Morning beautiful." He mumbled into my hair, and I let out a contented sigh.  
  
"Morning." I replied, then glanced up at him.  
  
He kissed me tenderly, then smiled again, "Wild party last night."  
  
I laughed, lying back against his chest, "Glad you had a nice time."  
  
Guy paused, his hand reaching up to stroke my hair gently, "You all seem pretty friendly. Really close."  
  
I nodded, "They're like family now. With what we do." I trailed off. I didn't usually talk about the SGC, not that there was much I could say, but Guy had a sense that it was dangerous. You really can't keep those things from someone your this close too.  
  
"Sam. we're you and Jack ever." Guy paused, causing me to turn back to look at him and finish his sentence.  
  
"Together?"  
  
Guy nodded, "I feel like a jealous school boy asking Sam, but I have to know. The two of you.."  
  
"It's okay." I leant back into his chest. I'd been looking for an opening, this was as good as I was ever going to get "It's complicated between us. There was a time, I guess if I'd had the chance I would have been with him. But in the military, the regulations forbade officers in the same chain of command being together. We spent so long denying having feelings for each other.." I paused to look up at him again. I had no idea what sort of effect this was going to have on him. Guy didn't say anything, watching me impassively, so I continued, "It just turned into something else. He's my best friend, and I trust him with my life. But we're beyond the relationship." I looked up at him again, "You don't have to worry bout him."  
  
Guy gave me a tight smile, then smoothed my hair down and kissed my forehead, "I know."  
  
I wasn't sure if he really did, but I wasn't about to press the issue. Guy would have to be content with that, and for the fact that I was here with him, not with Jack.  
  
"I love you Sam." Guy whispered.  
  
Arms wrapped around my lover, I practically froze. Only once before in my life had I said that to man, and had it said back. Yet, it didn't seem as frightening as it had the first time, and before I could think I found myself saying it back. "I love you too."  
  
-------------  
  
I was absolutely exhausted. The last two weeks at the SGC had been so hectic, I hadn't had five minutes to sit down and think. Driving home, I was going to welcome the few days I had to myself. I'd start with a long hot bubble bath, then maybe call Guy and see if he... With sudden shock I realised I hadn't called him. During the problems at the SGC, everything else had fled my mind, and Guy had never even entered my thoughts. And now he'd been sitting at home for two weeks without word from me. I could just imagine the sorts of things he's thought has happened to me. I pulled into my street, dreading having to make up more lies. I'd gotten away without telling Guy much about the SGC, but I knew I couldn't ignore his questions this time. I pulled up in front of my house, surprised to see the lights on. Then I noticed Guy's car parked in the driveway. Stepping out, I ran lightly up to my house, cautiously opening the door. Guy lay on the couch, the tv's lights playing across his face. Beside him was a cup of something I could only guess was coffee, cold now though, and his eyes were close. His breathing was slow and steady, but worry lines across his forehead betrayed the fact that he wasn't sleeping peacefully. His eyes were lined with circles, and my heart sank. What had I done to this man? I moved infront of him, crouching next to the couch, and gently touched his shoulder. "Guy?"  
  
His eyes flickered open, and he regarded me through heavy lids, "Sam?"  
  
"I'm here." I whispered.  
  
He reached out, running a finger down my cheek, "Are you really?" He blinked slowly, and I suddenly wondered if he was fully awake. "I see you in my dreams..." his voice trailed off to a few unintelligible words, then he closed his eyes fully and his hand dropped.  
  
I sighed, leaving him to sleep as I went to the kitchen to fix myself my own coffee. I felt so bad. I couldn't believe I'd left him in the dark like that. If it had been me in his position, it would have destroyed me. Without thought, I picked up my phone and dialled a familiar number.  
  
"O'Neill."  
  
"Yeah it's me."  
  
"What's up Carter? Haven't heard from you for a while..." I could hear the smile in Jack's voice, and I realised he had probably been as worried as Guy. But the difference with Jack was he knew if anything disastrous had happened, he'd be notified about it. Either by Daniel or Janet, somehow he'd find out, and he would be comforted by the fact that everyone was doing their upmost to put it right. Guy doesn't have such certainties. And his overactive imagination could conjure up all sorts of worst case scenarios, with nothing to confirm or deny.  
  
"Problems at work." I said tiredly, leaning against my bench, "Things are heating up there."  
  
"Anything you can't handle?"  
  
I winced. There were only so many things I could tell Jack these days, and even less I could say over an unsecured phone, but I had the sudden urge to share what was going on with someone. Somebody that would understand the dangers I went through to keep this planet alive on a day to day basis.  
  
"Why don't you come over?"  
  
I almost burst out laughing. Jack could even read my silences. It was so bizarre, but he knew exactly what I needed. I smiled, dragging my phone into the lounge room to slip on my shoes. "Sure, I'll be right there.."  
  
Guy was still asleep on my couch. I looked down at him, debating wether I could leave him there to see Jack, or if I should stay until he woke up.  
  
"Carter?"  
  
"Yeah. Listen, Guy's here, I really should stick around. Why don't I come over tomorrow?"  
  
Jack paused, "I'll have to get back to you on that one Carter. Give me fifteen."  
  
I nodded, putting down the phone and walking back into the kitchen to finish my coffee. I really did want to see Guy. I was just dreading the explaining I'd have to do, explaining that I'd never had to think up before. And the last thing I wanted to do was lie to him. Finishing my coffee, I turned to the sink to rinse my cup out when strong hands grabbed me around the waist. I jumped, then the hands continued around my middle, crossing over each other. They pulled me backwards, until I was leaning against a well muscled chest, and a head came down until the persons lips could brush against my ear.  
  
"God Sam, where have you been?"  
  
I turned in Guys arms and he pushed me back against the sink, his hands reaching up to cup my face. He breathed my name again, his eyes searching my face until they locked with mine, and I saw it all. The hours he had spent glued to the phone, waiting, hoping and dreading it to go off with news. The days he had spent watching the driveway for my car, calling the mountain but getting no answer. The pain and the worry, it all flashed across his eyes and my heart sank. It was all my fault. Before I could speak, Guy reach down, crushing his lips against mine as he hungrily kissed me. His hands roamed, caressing my cheek, his fingers trailing down my neck. I started to get lost in the feel of his body pressed up against mine, and the feelings he was starting to arouse in me.  
  
When the phone rang. Guy's body went rigid, and his hands tightened around my shoulders. He pulled away, giving me a tight smile as I reached past him to pick up the phone. "Carter."  
  
"Yeah it's me."  
  
I couldn't stop the smile spreading across my face at the sound of Jack's voice, as Guy watched me intently. "Hey."  
  
"Still up for tomorrow Carter?"  
  
"Yes sir. Time?"  
  
Jack paused, "Lunch?"  
  
I nodded, "See you then sir."  
  
"Right. And Sam?"  
  
I was half way to pulling the phone away when I stopped. He never called me Sam. "Sir?" I questioned.  
  
"I'm retired Major."  
  
I smiled again, then tried a word that was almost foreign to my lips, "Sure Jack. Whatever you say."  
  
------  
  
"Sam?"  
  
I looked up from my place on the edge of the bed. Guy looked at me through lazy eyelids.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
I pulled on my other shoe, then stood up, running a hand through my still damp hair, "Just out for a few hours. I'll be back soon."  
  
"Hmm," Guy mumbled, rolling over on his side, "That's what you said two weeks ago."  
  
I paused, then walked over to his side of my bed and sat down next to where he lay. He opened his eyes fully and looked up at me, "I'm sorry Guy." I said softly, reaching out to run my fingers across his hair, "I didn't mean for it to happen."  
  
Guy smiled, reaching up to take my hand. He pressed his lips to them, then lazily stroked it as he spoke, "I know. Just promise me it won't happen again." Abruptly I pulled away and stood up, causing Guy to sit up in alarm, "What?"  
  
"I can't." I turned away from him, cursing myself. I should have known this was going to happen. It always did. For some reason I thought it would be different with Guy though. Because we were so close, because he had never said anything before. But it was different now.  
  
"You can't?" he echoed.  
  
I turned back to look at him, at his chocolate brown eyes that were full of worry and confusion. I sighed, then sat back on the bed next to him, "I can't promise you Guy. I'll never be able too."  
  
"Why?"  
  
I bit my lip, "Guy, you know the work I do is dangerous. Your not supposed too, but you know."  
  
"Sam." He said my name gently, "I don't even pretend to know what it is you do. I don't want to guess. But the days you stumble in here all bandaged up and hurting.. I don't know what to do. You can't keep this from me forever."  
  
"..But I have too." I hated it. I hated it all. Not being able to share my day-to-day life with the man closest to me, and I knew he would think it was because of one thing..  
  
"You don't trust me?"  
  
There it was. My most hated word in the entire world. Trust. But damnit, I didn't WANT too loose Guy the way I'd happily gotten rid of the others. I'd had a very straight forward rule. If they couldn't accept it, they couldn't stay. Guy had been changing my rules from the word go, but I inwardly cringed as I realised this was one he could never touch. "Guy, listen to me. This has nothing to do with how much I trust you. or how much I love you. But you have to understand this. If you can't accept the work I do, that one day I might not come home, then we can't be together." I saw the look of dread on his face, but I forced myself to continue, "I can't give up my work, not for anything. I do love you Guy, but this is more important then both of us. If we stay together. there is always going to be that chance that I won't walk through that door ever again."  
  
Guy was silent for a long time after that. I left to go see Jack with him still sitting on my bed, trying to take in the information. I didn't blame him for being shocked. I guess he always thought that 'it could never happen to us' and that when it came down to it, I'd give it all up to be with him. And I guess that's the biggest reason I could never hold a relationship. Because no one could stand for coming second best. That I would drop everything for my work, but hesitate when it involved them. But it was the way things had to be, and I still wouldn't change it.  
  
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Please guys send feedback! If there isn't a good result again, I may loose heart! (and you wouldn't want that too happen now, would you?) Hehehehe. 


	3. Chap 3

A/N - Sorry about the delay! *always seems to be apoligising* My computer decided to be sick, and then the doctor decided he couldn't make her better! :( But it's all good now!!  
Big MASSIVE thanks to Fi for the use of her 'spell checker' and for beta-ing! - even if I did nag and winge till it was done. :)   
This one is for the Aussies, because we STILL don't have SG on our screens!!!  
  
Feedback - Without it my 'puter feels neglected.. and tends to die on me!  
  
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:Jack:  
  
Carter had always been a quick thinker. From the moment I met her, wether it be a military decision, to a smart ass remark, Carter was always on the ball. Debating and double checking herself had never been her MO… until now.  
Suddenly she wasn't sure if getting so close to Guy had been such a good idea, if letting him into her world knowing she had to keep him at arms length was the right thing to do. Suddenly she was beating herself up for something I don't think she could of prevented anyway.   
The day she came over, she was agitated and worried, but it was a while before I got all of this out of her. For the first time she wasn't completely willing to share everything with me; and I couldn't quite figure out why. I didn't dwell on it though - we had something bigger on our minds.  
  
"The Goa'uld are going to attack."  
  
"Here?" I asked, disbelieving. "What about that… Asgard treaty thing we've got going?"  
  
Carter shrugged, "We haven't been able to reach them. But Daniel thinks the Goa'uld are aware of the Replicators, that they know the Asgard are in no position to help us."  
  
"You mean they called their bluff?" I ran a hand over my face, this was very bad, "How long?"  
  
"The intel we've got is shady at best, but we estimate with the time it'll take them to get supplies, organize the army, not to mention travel time…two years."  
  
I let out an explosive breath. Two years. We could come up with a plan by then, find someway to stop them. We'd done it before, we could do it again. I frowned when I realised something. It wasn't we anymore at all. They were the ones going to fix it, to become heroes, while I - with millions of other people - sat back without a clue as to what was happening right under our noses. I sighed. There were so many reasons why I wanted to return to the SGC, and not enough for me to be comfortable staying away. I wondered if Sam knew what I was thinking, but her thoughts were a million miles away.  
  
"We're doubling the efforts to get the Alpha site completely self sufficient. Hopefully in six months they won't need supplies from Earth at all." She looked up at me, her blue eyes filled with worry, "This is serious sir. We…" she bit her bottom lip, "We don't know how to stop them."  
  
"Oh common," I came back automatically, "We've kicked their asses hundreds of times." I gave her a friendly nudge, "You'll figure something out."  
  
Carter nodded. I don't know if she believed me or not, but I wasn't really worried. I knew they had the best people for the job thinking, and they had a little while to plan. The Earth wasn't in any immediate danger.  
  
********  
  
:Sam:  
  
When I got back to my house that afternoon, Guy was gone, but left a note that I should call him. With shaking hands I picked up my phone, worried I was about to loose the man that I loved. I didn't want to do it, but, stealing myself to resolve, I dialled his number.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Guy?"  
  
"Sam?"  
  
"Yeah it's me."  
  
There was a pause, then Guy spoke again, "I can't believe you left this morning."  
  
I took a deep breath. "I know Guy and I'm sorry. But I had things to do…"  
  
Guy cut me off, "And I have to accept that if I want to be with you. I know that."  
  
I held my breath.  
  
"And… you mean more to me then anything else I've ever known Sam. I want to be a part of your life, even if it means sacrificing my time with you. I love you Sam. More then anything."  
  
I swallowed the rock that seemed to have formed in my throat, and finally started breathing again, feeling the clamp around my heart ease. He was going to stay. I tried to speak, not realizing how dry my throat had become, and had to try again.  
"Can I come over?"  
  
"I was hoping for more then that Sam." His voice was soft, and I wondered exactly what it was he was about to propose. "I want to spend every moment I can with you. I…I want you to stay with me. For good."  
  
"Move in with you?" I didn't mean it to come out so sudden, or so outraged, but I didn't think. It had just come out. I'd thought of the idea myself on the odd occasion, but it seemed so sudden coming from him.  
  
"I need to be with you Sam." Guy sounded defeated, almost as if he was pleading with me, "When I thought about the possibility of leaving you… I've never been so scared before in my life. I couldn't imagine life without you. You're everything to me." He suddenly paused, "I don't want to push you Sam…"  
  
I nearly cried, "You mean that?" I asked quietly.  
  
"I've thought about it Sam. If you want too… I love you so much."  
  
"I love you too."  
  
********  
  
We talked about it for days afterwards, and figured out that my house was easier, then having me move into his little apartment. And then it happened. One week I was living by myself, then the next I had lost all and any sense I had of privacy.   
Not that I minded. Guy was everything I had thought he was, and always managed to surprise me on the odd occasion. I called him one night to let him know I'd be late, and as I stumbled into the house at around midnight, Guy was awake, pushing a hot cup of coffee into my hand and sitting with me while I tried desperately not to fall asleep.   
Things were getting worse at the SGC, and I spent less and less time at home. Most of my time was spent off world, at the Alpha site, trying to get it up and running. Eventually I was practically commanding there, with little to no help coming from superiors from the SGC, but it still came as a huge surprise when I was promoted to Lieutenant Colonel.   
I honestly hadn't given it any thought, but when the orders came through from the General I realized it was logical.   
And of course, the first person I called with the news was Jack.  
  
"Congratulations Colonel! It's about time.' Jack sounded genuinely delighted, "When you coming back so we can celebrate?"  
  
I bit my bottom lip, looking down at all the paper work on my desk, "Jack I really can't…"  
  
He cut me off, "Common Carter! How often do you get promoted? And I haven't seen you for months. You're gonna crash and burn if you don't take a break soon."  
  
I sighed. I'd heard that from Guy every day for the past three weeks. He was desperate to have me home, and I did owe it to him, "Alright. Listen Jack, can you call Guy? If I can get a bit of work done before I go…"  
  
"I'll sort it all out Sam. Just get home."  
  
*****  
  
:Jack:  
  
Guy wasn't happy. I could tell the moment I mentioned Carter's name.   
  
"She called you?"  
  
"Uh, yeah. Said she had some stuff to do, but she's got news…."  
  
He cut me off before I could get anymore out, "And she told you? What else did she tell you? Do you know when she's coming home?" he swore softly under his breath, "She hasn't called me for two days."  
  
"Oh you know what it's like up there. Nobody has the time to chat these days."  
  
"Yeah. So I've gathered."  
  
I spoke with Guy for a few more moments, outlining my plan for Carter's party. He got into it, and agreed to come over a few hours early saturday morning, but I could tell he was upset. Not that I blamed the poor guy. If I had Carter's attention the way he had, I'd be upset if she didn't call me.  
I stopped for a moment. Carter was a pretty focused woman, but the attention she gave Guy was like none I'd seen before. He was the luckiest guy on the planet - on any planet - to have a woman like that in love with him.  
I only hoped he realized how lucky he was.  
  
***********  
  
:Sam:  
  
It was just after lunch on Saturday that I finally got out of the mountain, and I'm surprised I didn't crash the car on the way home. The constant fatigue from the past two months was finally catching up with me, and I could barely keep my eyes open, but somehow I managed, dreaming of a hot shower and an evening catching up with Guy.  
I pulled into my driveway, wondering which of my neighbours were throwing a party that afternoon - cars were lined up half way down the road. Too tired to process the information, I stumbled up to the front door, pushing my key into the lock and opening my door.  
  
I nearly died of shock. Totally forgetting about my conversation with Jack yesterday, I was completely taken off guard by the site that greeted me. Jack and Guy stood in the centre of the room, both grinning from ear to ear like kids in a candy store. The room it's self was decorated with balloons and streamers, with a huge 'Congratulations Lieutenant Colonel' banner slung across the far wall. And staring at me were a few dozen faces. Most were from the SGC, and the rest were people I'd met through Guy.  
  
Before I could speak, Guy took the floor, "Now everyone! Listen up!" He walked over to me, still grinning, and slipped his arm around my shoulder, "As you all know, this lovely lady has just been promoted!"  
  
At that the room exploded into cheers, and I felt my colour rise. I couldn't believe he was doing this.  
  
"But, that's not the only change in Sam's life."  
  
I looked up at him curiously, and he spared me a moment to look into my eyes, before addressing the room again.  
  
"A few months ago, she agreed to let me live with her…"  
  
"Which in itself is something to commend the girl for!" someone cried out.  
  
The usual chuckles followed, but I was impatient to know just what he was doing.  
  
Guy ignored the outburst, and continued talking, "And now I have one more question to ask her." He turned to me, his brown eyes twinkling, and he smiled. I felt my knees buckle, and if he hadn't been holding my hand, I probably would have fallen.  
"Samantha," he said my name softly, "Sam, the love of my life," he reached into his pocket, pulling out a small velvet box, "Will you marry me?"  
  
*****  
  
PLEASE don't kill me! Hehe. Just a 'slight' reminder to you all, I AM a Sam and Jack shipper!!  
DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW! - go on.. push the button.. you know you want too! ;) 


	4. Chap 4

A/N - This chapter is kinda small.. mainly because I didn't want to torture you lot any further. There IS still more coming, and I promise it will get interesting, but as you all begged to know what Sam's answer is... ;)   
  
Once again a BIG thanks too Fi for beta'ing for me!   
  
R&R please guys! I live on it!  
  
-------  
:Sam:   
  
I was going to faint.   
  
It was the first thought that flew into my head as I stared at the saffier gleaming at me from the box in Guy's hand. It seemed to draw all of my attention, and I couldn't think of anything past how beautiful it was. The same colour as my eyes, it sparkled as the light caught it, and I didn't notice as Guy took my hand. Only when he took the ring from the box did I look up into his eyes. Eyes filled with hope, with worry. He still smiled, but only I could tell it was forced. His breath was short, and he quickly ran his tongue over his lips to mostion them. Slowly, gently he raised my hand, slipping the ring onto my finger, his eyes never leaving mine.   
  
"Will you be my wife Sam?"   
  
Tears escaped from my eyes as I stared at my finger, at the ring that fit so perfectly.   
  
"Yes."   
  
I didn't have time to react as Guy swept me into a hug, lifting me off my feet as he twirled me around. The room erupted into cheers as Guy lowered me gently to my feet, and as he captured my lips in a sweet kiss, I didn't notice Jack as he quietly left the room.   
  
--------   
  
:Jack:   
  
Midnight found me on Carter's back porch, trying to drown myself in beer. Not for any particular reason, but as I didn't seem to have anything else to do, and the beer was in abundance, I figured why not. I'd spent most of the night talking with Daniel and Sg-1's newest member, Jennifer Hailey, but Hailey had gone home a few hours earlier, and Danny had wandered off to pass out.   
So for the past half hour I'd been alone, and quite enjoying looking out at the stars that seemed to dance by their own accord. Suddenly I looked up, to watch Carter stumble through her back door, then smile at me triuphantly, like a child who'd just found you while playing hide and seek.   
  
"I thought you'd left."   
  
I shook my head, taking another swig of beer, "Just because you haven't spoken to me all night doesn't mean I would leave without saying goodbye." I told her, quite matter of fact like. If I'd had the energy, I would have been insulted that she would think otherwise. As it was, I was having trouble finding a flat surface to place my beer bottle on. The ground had an annoying habbit of slanting.   
  
"Meaning?"   
  
I looked up from my study of the ground to look at Carter, who was standing with one hand on her hip, the other against the doorjam. I realised, with a smile, that she was drunk. More drunk that I'd ever seen her.   
"Meaning...... That the new bride-to-be has been the centre of attention all night." My smiled softened, and I gestured her over.   
  
She smiled and started over, and I chuckled at her sightly off-balanced walk. Plopping herself on the couch beside me, she snuggled up against my chest, and my hand automatically fell around her shoulders, holding her tight against me. I lazily stroked her hair, my eyes falling down to her fingers, which were absently playing with my dog-tags through my shirt. Jewlery was so rare for Carter, the new ring on her finger stood out like a beacon. It glinted in the moon light, and it screamed at me. It screamed that this was it. This was the end of the friendship I held so dear with Carter. The ring was a sybol that she now belonged to Guy, and that I could never be a part of that.   
Even in my drunken state I knew I was being ridiculous. Carter was in love with Guy, was going to spend the rest of her life with him, but it didn't mean I still couldn't be apart of that life. Didn't mean that she didn't still need me.   
  
She caught me looking, and pulled back to sit up straight, then slowly pulled the ring off her finger, "You uh.. haven't said anything."   
  
My eyes were still drawn to the ring, that was turning slowly as her fingers ran over it, "I'm happy for you Carter. I truely am. You couldn't have found a more perfect match."   
  
"You really believe that?"   
  
I looked up sharply at her words. Carter was watching me, and the silence seemed to streach into eternity. My head was spinning. Was she having doubts? I knew, I was competely certain that Carter was in love with Guy, and that he loved her beyond anything in his world. That they belong together. What could she mean?   
  
Without words, Carter pushed the ring back onto her finger, then leant back against me. My arm once again fell around her shoulders, and pulled her close, content not to push it.   
Time passed, and I slept, until Carter's tired, drunken slur reached my ears.   
  
"Jack?"   
  
"What is it Carter?"   
  
"Nothings going to change. You know that right?"   
  
"Hmm, Carter. I know it won't."   
  
Carter shifted in my arms, and her voice was mumbled and barely auible, "I love you Jack."   
  
I held her tightly, then softly kissed her forehead, "I love you too Sam."   
  
------   
  
:Sam:   
  
"Sam?"   
  
It hurt. Pain was throbbing from my temples, and the voice, getting more persistant every time it spoke my name, was not welcome.   
  
"Sam!"   
  
"I'm awake." I mumbled, shifting slightly, then wishing I hadn't. I couldn't remember how I'd fallen alseep, but it wasn't the most comfortable of positions I could have chosen, and my neck hurt worse then my head. Sitting up, I reconsidered. My head hurt much more. I opened my eyes, but the sunlight rended me blind, and pain erupted once again through my temples. I moaned again, squeezing my eyes shut and falling back against the seat.   
  
"Sam...what are you doing outside?"   
  
I peeked open my left eye, staring at my new fiance through blury lids. Beside me, I felt Jack stir, and I suddenly realised why I felt so horrible.   
"Guy.." I closed my eye again, then managed to open both of them, feeling the whole time like they were attached to weights, "You passed out on the couch." I reminded him, running my hand over my face. I swore silently that it was the last time I was ever going to get drunk, "And I don't know about you, but that thing is way too small for the both of us."  
  
Guy nodded, holding out his hand to me. I took it, and got unsteadly to my feet, then turned to look at Jack. He looked worse then I felt. Deciding to leave him to sleep, I let Guy guide me back inside, then sunk into the shower. What felt like seconds later, Guy was poking me. "Sam, wake up. You've been in here for half an hour."  
  
A few minutes later, I was sitting in the kitchen, coffee in hand, and feeling a little closer to human. Jack was awake by now, but he had claimed my shower, and Daniel was still sleeping peacefully upstairs, so Guy and I had each other alone for the firse time since he proposed.   
  
"You two looked quite comfortable out there." he stated, a little hesitently.   
  
I sighed, lying back in my chair, "Please Guy. I keep telling you, there is nothing going on with Jack and I. He's my friend...we're close. But I love you Guy." I smiled, looking into his eyes, "I'm in love with you, I'm going to be your wife. We're going to spend the rest of our lives together." I got up off my chair and walked over to him, standing inbetween his open legs as I bent down to kiss his lips.   
  
"I love you Sam." He whispered, wrapping his arms around me, and pulling me on to his lap. I kissed him again, then leant my head on his shoulder, my mind already turning to what I'd just said to him.   
  
Spend the rest of our lives together.   
  
I only hoped that it wasn't limited to the next twelve months, when the Goa'uld knocked on our front door.   
  
-------   
  
:Jack:   
  
Carter didn't say much to me before she left back for the SGC a day later, but she wanted her wedding to go ahead as soon as possible. With the iminant threat of the Goa'uld, she wanted to die a happliy married woman. Not that she used those exact words, but I knew it was what she was thinking.   
Guy, although a little surprised, was happy to comply - but as Carter was away at the Mountain, I found myself the one helping with the wedding.   
I'm not sure what people though of Carter leaving two males to organise her own wedding, but six months later, just before the first snows of winter, I was confident we'd pulled it off.   
A few months after he proposed, Guy offered me around for a beer. I was surprised, he and I didn't usually socialise without Carter around, but I agreed, and we were comfortably drunk before Guy finally told me why hed brought me around.   
  
"I need to ask you a favor."   
  
"For you Guy." I grinned, "Anything."   
  
"I want you to be my best man."   
  
I had just taken another mouthful of beer, which I gracefully spat all over the concrete. That was the last thing I'd expected him to say, and I told him so.   
  
"I know it seems a little strange, since were not really that close. But I've been thinking about it, and I know it would mean a lot to Sam."   
  
"Wait, Guy. You can't... You're supposed to be picking your best man for yourself. Carter would rather that then you make   
her happy."   
  
"Jack...the only other man I would consider trusting to be my best man, is still in England, and he can't make it down for the wedding. I wan't it to be you."  
  
How could I refuse? Telling Guy I'd be honoured, I wondered how Carter would respond. She would know he was doing just for her sake, because it was the only way to get me involved in the wedding, but I thought she'd like the idea anyways.   
She came down from the mountain whenever she could, for dress fittings and to pick the flowers, and all of that time was spent with Guy. She missed him terribly, even I could tell that from our verious phone calls. But even they were getting further apart, as Carter practically lived offworld now.   
  
There was one thing eating in the back of my mind, that I could never ask Carter, with the way things were going, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. If the Goa'uld did attack, and they were forced to evac the best and brightest through the gate to the Alpha site, and Carter was given full command, would she be willing to leave Guy behind, to leave the man she loved on a world that was doomed to die? I shuddered to think that I too might be left behind, after all I'd done for Earth, but my main concern was still for Carter. And how she would cope all by herself.   
  
-------  
  
:Sam:   
  
"No, its in the closet, I'm positive."   
  
Before I was even awake I was hearing voices. They were in whispers, obviously trying hard not to wake me, but it was pointless. I hadnt been able to sleep much all night, the slightest sound and momvement waking me up. I opened my eyes to see Janet and her young daughter Cassie, moving about the bedroom.   
  
"Please tell me its not morning already." I mumbled.   
  
Seeing I was awake, Cassie launched herself on the bed, throwing her arms around me for a hug, "Oh my god Sam, I'm so excited!"  
  
I tried to sit up, but with Cassie on me it was difficult. She sat back a little, still grinning, "Can you believe it's finally here?"   
  
I could believe it alright. I had been waiting for this day since Guy first proposed to me. My wedding day. It did seem a little unreal that I, Samantha Carter, was going to get married, but I wasn't worried about that. I just wanted to settle down with Guy, start a family and live happily. The only thing hurting my happiness was the constant threat of the Goa'uld. But come six months time, I was hoping to change that.   
  
I'd spent the night at Janet's, secretly liking the idea that I wasn't allowed to see my love until we'd wed. As my bridesmaid, Cassie took it upon herself to make sure I was looking perfect, and Janet, as my maid of honor, took it upon herself to give everything the once over... about three times.   
But everything went smoothly, and at one that afternoon all I needed left to do was slip on my dress. The only problem was the car didn't arrive until three. I cursed, sitting in Janet's kitchen, wishing I had something constructive to do. On the heavy advice of both Jack and Janet, I hadn't brought anything work related home, and now I was hating that decision. What was I supposed to do for two hours?   
  
Janet however, had the solution.   
  
"We've got a surprise." Cassie shrieked. The teenage alien had never been to a wedding before, and her excitment levles were hitting the roof.   
  
"What kind of surprise?" I asked suspiciously.   
  
"A good one." Janet reasured me, leading me outside. And there, standing in the middle of the lawn, was my father. I didn't think as I flung myself into his arms. I hadn't seen him since getting word of the Goa'uld attacks, knowing that he and the rest of the Tok'ra were busy doing their best to slow the Goa'uld down as much as possible. But by some miracle he'd managed to get away.   
  
"What, you think I'd miss my own daughters wedding?" he asked with a laugh when I asked him about it.   
  
"But how dad?"   
  
Jacob Cater shrugged, "I bascially threatened to leave for good if I couldn't get back. I wasn't going to miss this for any galaxy Sam."   
  
I beemed with pride, and suddenly the day did seem perfect. After making sure Dad would 'give me away', I sent him off with Janet to go and meet Guy. Guy had often asked about my parents, and although he knew my mother was dead, Dad had been very hazy to him. I'd done it on purpose of course, the thought that the two of them my never meet had always been sitting in the back of my mind, but it didn't matter now. A retired General serving in Asia as foreign relations wasn't that hard to believe, and dad accepted it too, after a chuckle.   
  
After dad left, Cassie and I were left to ourselves, so I challenged her to a game of chess. Unfortunatly for both of us, our minds were everywhere but the chess board.   
  
-----   
  
:Jack:   
  
The meeting between Jacob and Guy went a little more strained then I'd expected. Janet had let me in on her little secret earlier in the week, so I made sure I was there to greet Jacob, saving Guy from meeting a total stranger on his lawn. As I indroduced the two, Jacob seemed to judge Guy on the first five seconds of their meeting, which was tough on Guy, who was trying to get over his shock. Carter's father was the last person on the earth he expected to show up. But it ended with Jacob calmly telling Guy he would be hounered to have him as a son-in-law, then walking off to go and change, while Guy stood on the lawn, still looking bewildered.   
  
The next two hours dragged by. We got too the small garden where they had chosen too have their wedding with half an hour to spare, and I watched disinterested as the last of the flowers were aranged. It was quite pretty, with a small fountain gurgling in the background, and roses scattered everywhere. I wasn't sure how Guy had found this place, but Carter would love it.   
And then it happened. One moment I was idly walking through the gardens, the next, I was standing next to Guy at the end of the ile as the bridle car came up. I hadn't let my self think about it all day, but suddenly I felt nervous. My heart was beating a hundred miles a minute in my throat, and the big empty spot in my chest was clentching itself into a tight ball, limiting my breathing. I glanced across at Guy, who looked paler then a ghost. His fists kept clenching and unclenching, almost in time with my pulse. His eyes were glued on the archway that lead off too the road, where the car sat, just out of view.   
The music started, and Guy let out a sound, something that I'd never heard before, almost as if the anxiety inside of him couldn't be contained and needed an escape, chooseing his mouth.   
Guy's small cousin was first through the archway, a basket of flowers in her hands. The small girl beamed as she scattered them across the walkway. Following her was Cassie, and I managed to stop and think of how beautiful she looked. Cassie was almost like a daughter to me, and my heart swelled with pride at the young woman she'd become. Janet was next, and again I wondered at how beautiful these woman, who I saw nearly ever single day of my life, could be.   
And then there was Sam. My breath got caught in my throat as the vision of a goddess walked through the archway. I couldn't breathe as I stared at her, her white dress shimmering in the sunlight. I couldn't move, couldn't think, I was compleatly taken away by her. She walked slowly up the isle, her father by her side and her eyes locked on Guy, who, like me, was transfixed by her. Her dress fit so perfectly, hugging her body in all the right places. It was hard to imagine a woman who wore military fatigues nearly 24/7 in this sort of splender, but there she was. Guy had suddenly become the most envied man in the room as Sam stopped in front of him. As they turned towards the minister, Sam spared a glance for me, but I couldn't give her any sort of reaction. The same dumb expresion was on my face that I'd had since I'd first seen her.   
She suddenly looked concerned, and I manged, finally, to offer a smile of encouragment. By that time however, Sam had turned away from me, and had compleatly missed it.   
The ceremony was short, thank goodness. I was starting to choke in my tux. Sam and Guy exchanged vows, and as Guy slowly lifted her vile, she glanced at me again. She was smiling, small tears of happiness running down her cheeks. She was so beautiful. This time she saw my smile, but not even I could say if it was one of happiness. As they sealed their marriage with a kiss, I suddenly felt a hole inside my stomach. A deep ache that I was loosing something.... something that wasn't mine, but that had always been open to me. Something that now, I knew I could never had.   
  
-----   
  
I can't stress this enough people, I AM A SAM AND JACK SHIPPER! Don't forget that okay! It's vital you keep it in mind... *g* You have NO idea how hard that was to write! Sam getting married so some other person is NOT my idea of a fun afternoon! But, it had to happen.... SORRY!   
If you'd like an email update, just lemme know in your reivew! I don't mind!   
More comming soon!! 


	5. Chap 5

A/N - Howdy folks. Thought I'd forgotten about this fic, didntcha? Deep apologies, but my muse packed up and headed over to Sunnydale for a little while. It's back now thou, and I'm almost positive that the SGC is home. g (my summer-home in Sunnydale is probably going to stay there thou)

Anyways, thanks to Ando, for the beta job, and for bouncing idea's around with me (and for listening to me prattle on about Sg nearly non stop) And to Fi and Jenny, for getting me back into Stargate when I was pretty sure I'd lost all hope.

Feedback - Do you know how LONG it's been since I got a review? I'm going through withdrawals! (yes, my fault I know for not posting for so long) PLEASE keep me and my muse happy!

-------

:Sam:

I stretched, my fingertips brushing against the headboard and my toes sneaking off the end of the bed. My eyes still closed against the soft afternoon sunlight filtering through the open china doors, I breathed in the cold ocean breeze and decided I never wanted to move from that spot ever again.

It was coming to the end of the fourth day of our honeymoon, and early tomorrow morning our flight left back to Colorado. When first talking about the honeymoon, Guy and I had originally planned on disappearing from reality for a couple of weeks, but after a phone call from the SGC earlier this morning, I'd had to break the bad news to Guy that we were cutting it short.

The only thing I could do was promise him an extra long holiday after the Goa'uld threat had gone, although I hadn't exactly phrased it like that.

Understandably, Guy hadn't been impressed with the emergency back at work that I couldn't tell him a thing about, and had taken off out of the hotel room without so much as a goodbye. I hadn't seen him all day, and as the light was fading outside I was starting to get a little worried.

Opening my eyes, I ran my fingers across the blood red satin sheets, feeling the softness against my bare skin, my thoughts still on my husband and the problem that would be between us for the rest of our lives.

How could I tell him that the fate of the entire world rested on the next few months, and just exactly how we handle the situation? I didn't blame him for being upset, but I desperately wished I could make him understand.

It was just at that very moment that said husband knocked softly on the door. Wondering idly what he expected to find behind the closed door, I called out to him to enter. He walked in, a small sheepish smile on his face, and a beautiful long stemmed red rose in his hand. My heart melted. Here I had found maybe the sweetest guy alive, and I was leaving him alone on our honeymoon. He came to sit next to me, his soft lips brushing against my cheek, and he handed me the rose.

"I'm sorry." He murmured against my ear, and then pulled away, "I didn't mean to take off like that."

"I'm the one who should be sorry." I told him honestly, my hand reaching up to touch his skin, all by its own accord.

He was silent for a long moment, his eyes locked on mine, "Don't go back." He whispered, and my hand automatically tensed in shock. He kept talking before I could respond, his voice hitched, "Listen to me Sam. I'm not a fool. Whatever you've gotten yourself into up in that mountain, it doesn't have to stay like that. I can help you...." He took a deep breath, "I want to help you Sam. But you have to trust me."

The entire world stopped spinning. The ground opened up and swallowed me. An anvil dropped on my head. Jack announced he was getting a sex change. Any one of these things would have shocked me less then what my husband had just said to me.

"Whatever I've....?" The sentence wouldn't even leave my mouth. Whatever I've gotten myself into? What was I, a teenager involving myself with a biker gang? I was utterly speechless, but my brain just wouldn't catch up, snap frozen in shock

The dumb struck look on my face was enough to keep him talking.

"You don't have to go back there Sam. We can stay here, start a new life together, and you can leave all of that behind. Whatever it is Sam, it'll be okay."

My hand found his, squeezing it hard, succeeding in my mission to keep him from speaking anymore. I needed time to process what he was saying, to wrap my head around the incredibleness of the fact that Guy was so utterly, completely, and tragically off course.

"Guy....I'm not....I work in Cheyenne....There's nothing else going on."

"Sam, please." He sighed, relaxing into the soft mattress, obviously prepared to convince me he knew what was going on, "Deep Space Radar Telemetry? You and I both know you are smarter then that."

A brief smile creased my lips.

"And Jack? What possible interest could he have in that? Jack is a field officer Sam. He told me himself he likes to get his hands dirty." He looked at me, his face expressionless, "They don't keep talented Military Colonels locked up in a mountain. And lastly, Sam....look at you." He reached over, his fingers brushing over a fading bruise I had gained on our last trip though the gate, "You come home after being away for weeks, battered and bruised like you'd been in a fight for your life....."

He trailed off as an unexplainable tear fell from my eye. Gingerly, he reached out to brush it away, "It's okay Sam. You can tell me."

Slowly, imperceptibly, I shook my head no, "I can't Guy." My eyes pleaded with him, "I can't tell you what is going on up in that mountain." I let my fingers intertwine with his. I had no thought bar that I absolutely had to convince Guy at that moment. Nothing else mattered except making sure Guy trusted what I said.

"You have to trust me. I'm doing good work up there, it's _important_. Guy..."

I watched the indecision scrawl across his face, the questions, the frustration, and in that split second, I came to a life altering decision.

"Six months. Guy, please, just give me six months, and I promise I'll quit."

Guy looked shocked, "Quit?" He echoed, "As in... quit the Air force?"

I nodded firmly. The idea had been sitting in the back of my mind for months now. I knew I could never desert the SGC just before the big battle, but if we won the fight, I figured I deserved a favour from them. If we lost....it wouldn't matter anyway. But I knew I couldn't loose Guy.

------

:Jack:

"We want you back."

I blinked, uncomprehending, "Come again?"

On the other end of the phone, the General sucked in a deep lungful of air and expelled it quickly, as if talking to me was the last thing on this earth he wanted to do, "The SGC wants you back."

The side of my mouth tweaked, partly in surprise, the other half with the supreme knowledge that after everything, I was still indispensable to the SGC.

Well....that last bit may have been an overstatement. Maybe.

"Can I ask why?"

"You've spent the longest amount of time with the Stargate programme." The General explained tiredly, "I'm not even going to pretend that Colonel Carter hasn't been keeping you apprised of the situation here. When it comes down to it O'Neill, you are still the most experienced person we have, and the President feels we should pull in _all_ our resources."

The smug grin stayed in place as he kept talking, "You wouldn't, however, be there in any officially capacity. Strictly a civilian. We will however, give you full security clearance, and enough authority to have yourself heard." There was a pause, "We need your help O'Neill."

"You know what General?" I spoke with assured confidence, knowing that the skinny upstart of a General was fuming on the other end of the phone. Admitting that he actually needed me after the fiasco that ended up with me retiring must have struck hard, "I'll get back to you."

I hung up the phone without so much as a goodbye, grinning like a school boy after his first kiss. Although I'd never admit it to anyone, I missed the SGC like a second home. And, a deep part of my brain taunted me, this way you would be able to spend more time with Sam.

I swallowed hard, closing my eyes, suddenly unsure. Maybe going back to the SGC wasn't such a good idea. A few days after Carter's wedding I'd finally understood something that I'd kept denying since that first year I'd known her.

I was in love with Sam.

Completely, utterly, hopelessly in love with this goddess incarnate. Only, I figured it out too late. The woman I loved had gone and married another. The best I could settle for was knowing she was happy. It wasn't nearly enough, but I no longer had any right to this woman. I'd let her slip by me.

Being near her, day after day, being so close, and knowing it was something I could never have? I doubted I could live through that....again.

And even as I thought this, I knew I could never stay away.

--------

:Sam:

Guy hadn't been convinced. I knew that deep down he didn't believe me. But, as he'd said with a soft kiss against my forehead, I was his wife, and that gave me a certain amount of leeway. He would wait, if not happily, until then. I wondered what exactly it was that Guy thought I was doing. He must have some horrible fantasy cooked up from those long nights spent waiting for me to come home.

The seeds of doubt had been planted.

Returning to Colorado was uneventful, and I stayed home long enough to put the suitcases away and change before heading back to Cheyenne Mountain. I was eager to get back to work, to find out what had been so urgent that they needed to call me back early from my honeymoon.

What I hadn't expected, as I strode confidently into the briefing room, was Jack, his eyes glued on the Stargate through the large glass window three stories down. His gaze travelled to me as I entered, and his face broke into a tight smile, "Hey Carter."

"Hi...uh...Jack? What are you doing here?"

"Helping out."

I spun around to face Lieutenant Jennifer Hayley, who stood behind me with a grin big enough to light up Texas, "Morning Ma'am."

"Lieutenant." I greeted her, turning back to face Jack, still confused, "Jack?"

"I called him in." Walking briskly into the Briefing Room was Major General Morgan Kaplan. Having succeeded Hammond as the Commanding Officer of the SGC, Kaplan had slipped into the role with little effort. After taking an instantaneous dislike to Jack seconds after walking through the door, he'd turned out to be a fairly even tempered General with a thirst for glory - at whatever cost.

Even if it was at the expensive of his own people.

I was happier at the Alpha site, running under my own rules, then being stuck at the SGC with this man who had no regard for the talent under him. Jack had felt very much the same way, opting to leave rather then put up with it. But, as Daniel had pointed out on several occasions, they couldn't all be like Hammond, and we'd settled into a fairly efficient Command over the past couple of years. Jack's return was surprising, but, as the General explained it, necessary.

"The President asked me to ask you here." Kaplan started off, letting everyone at the table: myself, Jack, Daniel, Teal'c, Lieutenant Hayley and the SGC's 2IC, Colonel Shane Russell, know that he wasn't the reason behind Jack's return.

"He feels that, with concern to the Goa'uld, you are the best defensive strategist this planet has. You know them better then anyone else. He feels we can use you."

"How nice of him to think of me." Came back Jack's typical sarcastic response. I could tell, from the other side of the table that his defenses were up. He wanted to be anywhere else but in this briefing room with the General that had not only taken the position he felt was rightfully his, but had all but kicked him out as well.

The General went on to talk about the only other interesting piece of news he had. Tok'ra operatives had announced that the Goa'uld had entered hyperspace and were on their way. Half the table visibly paled at the news. After all our efforts to delay the Goa'uld, it hadn't helped, and they'd still left largely on schedule. Transit time was an estimated five months, but we had no way of knowing for sure. With the Goa'uld in hyperspace, we had lost all and any sort of surveillance of them, meaning whatever they did from now until they reached Earth would be unknown to all of us. I only hoped they stayed on course and we could beat this sooner, rather then later.

-------

Ahh, nother chapter down. More coming, and quicker this time! Honestly. Don't forget to Review! It's a reading requirement!!


	6. Chap 6

A/N - For some strange reason, I'm out of witty Authors Notes. I can't even apologize for the delay 'cause OMG, shock horror, this chapter is within a week of the last one.

Thank you to EVERYONE who's reviewed. You guys make this SO much fun to write. I love watching the reactions to the chapters I post.

And a massive thanks to Ando, once again for beta'ing, couldn't have done it without you snookums!

---)(---()----

:Jack:

Being away from the SGC had been like a bad dream, and I was eternally grateful to be home. The place was still the same as I remembered it. The walls were the same dull gray shade, sparkling under the buzzing fluorescent lights. Tight hallways that led to places I'd never visited in all my years there, dull, unadorned rooms and hard, military issue beds.

The newly promoted Staff Sergeant Walter Davis, or Chevron Guy, as he'd come to be known, was still at the controls, overseeing the Stargate as it slowly came to life. The mechanical chug of the Stargate powering up sent a wave of nostalgia through me, and I glanced to my right at Carter.

She seemed to sense my gaze on her, her eyes finding mine almost simultaneously. She smiled, softly and with warmth, "I'm glad you're here."

I swallowed hard. Being around Carter had never been hard before, but after my epiphany regarding my feelings for her, it suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe, whenever I saw her smile like that.

"Glad to be here too Carter."

I shouldn't have come back. This was possibly the stupidest plan I'd ever come up with. Carter's eyes drifted back to the Stargate as Davis announced the fourth chevron had engaged, but my own bored into the back of her head, until she suddenly turned to face me again, and my eyes darted back to the gate room below.

"I should be getting down there." She smiled again, "Don't let the General push you around."

Carters smile induced one of my own, "Wouldn't dream of it Colonel." I jutted my chin out to indicate the Stargate, "How long you going for?"

Carter shrugged, "A few days maybe. They've been having problems with one of the Naquadah reactors, half the complex is down."

I nodded absently, not really interested, and then watched as Sam descended the stairs. In front of me, The Chevron Guy turned in his chair, watching me for a moment. I cocked my head to the side, curious as to what he was thinking.

He opened his mouth, still watching me, and I got my answer.

"Chevron Seven Locked."

----

Unfortunately for me, being their top strategist meant I wasn't going on any off world missions anymore. I had to keep reminding myself I was there in an 'advisory capacity' only.

The SGC operated differently now with the immediate threat of the Goa'uld looming over their heads. Most of the SG teams were assigned to the Alpha site as a skeleton crew to keep it running until the population it was designed for moved in.

Knowing they would, especially if the Goa'uld wiped us out, be permanently stuck on another planet for the rest of their lives, the 'Alpha Crew' - everyone of them volunteers, essentially made up of the best and brightest people ever to walk the face of the Earth - would only leave their friends and loved ones at the last possible moment.

The SG teams left, including SG-1, now lead by the enigmatic Colonel Shane Russell, had been, up until this point, sabotaging known Goa'uld locations. Now that the Goa'uld where in hyperspace, the teams were split up, temporarily re-assigned to stations more fitting of each of their characteristics. Daniel was sent to the Alpha site to play peacekeeper. Hayley went with him for lack of anything better to do with her.

I was assigned with Teal'c, Russell and a few of the more senior SG personnel, as we struggled to come up with our last line of defence.

-----

:Sam:

I got back to the SGC three days later. For the most part, my internal clock was tuned in to the Alpha Sites rather bizarre cycle, and the 29 hour day had finally drawn to a close when I'd 'Gated home. My watch told me it was close to 5am earth time and the SGC was just starting to buzz with activity.

Absolutely exhausted, without thought I got in my car and drove, and I concentrated on the cars in front of me, and not particularly in the direction in which I was heading.

Which was why, as I pulled up to the curb, I was surprised to find myself out side of Jack's house.

My ex-commanding officer was standing on his front lawn, newspaper in one hand, and a frisky, black, white and copper Australian Sheppard at his feet. I'd gotten him the small dog just after Guy had proposed to me, and the two had bonded almost instantaneously. The dog, Whiskey, saw my car before Jack did, and shot towards it on his too large puppy paws. He reached the car as I opened the door, and I scooped down to pick him up.

"Hey Carter." Jack called, and I heard the surprise in his voice. By the look of him, I was pretty sure he'd just woken up. I smiled, heading across the lawn towards him, my fingers already tangled in Whiskey's thick winter coat.

"I didn't know you were back."

"Just then." I replied, keeping my attention focused on Whiskey. The young pup suddenly leaped from my hands, paused a moment to sniff the ground, then started running in circles around Jack's feet, tripping over them in the process.

I laughed at his antics, and then glanced at Jack.

His eyes locked directly with mine, and for a brief second, I saw something, but it disappeared the instant he found me returning his gaze. Something in his eyes that stirred a feeling deep within me. I suddenly found myself not breathing, the intensity of that split second moment overwhelming.

Jack averted his eyes quickly, somehow realizing he'd given away something just by looking at me. I couldn't explain it, the sudden change. Like a mask had slipped over his features, he was back to the same relaxed, casual Jack I was used too. But there was something, something in that look that was familiar, and oddly disquieting.

He invited me in, and we sat down for a large cup of Jack's coffee, before he asked me the dreaded question.

"So, Carter, what brings you to my door step?"

I didn't have an answer for him.

----

:Jack:

Carter was silent after my question, peering into her coffee cup like it contained the answers to the Goa'uld threat. I watched her, silently wondering at the oddness of the situation. Before she had married Guy, I would never have dreamed of asking Carter why she was showing up at my house.

Her being with me was a good enough reason.

But now, it seemed....wrong, for Mrs Guy Robinson to be making social calls to anyone of the opposite sex. Or perhaps it was my paranoia talking. Just because I was having other then regulation thoughts towards Carter, didn't mean she was thinking the same thing. This, to her mind, was probably perfectly normal.

And yet....she still didn't answer my question.

----

:Sam:

I shouldn't be here. My head was a whirl of thoughts, but the only one that kept making a reoccurrence was the knowledge that being alone with Jack was not a good idea.

And I still couldn't answer his question.

Every reason I came up with didn't seem good enough. Looking up at Jack, seeing the curiosity etched on his face, I wondered why I needed a reason. Before he'd left the SGC....No, even after that, I hadn't needed a reason. But now....I suddenly realized, stupidly, that it wasn't us that needed the reason.

It was Guy. If he knew I'd come over here, I'd have to give him a reason. Something a little more tangible then 'because I wanted to see him'.

"Actually." I winced, knowing this wasn't going to come out well, "I'm not exactly sure how I got here. I was driving home from the base and...." I trailed off; looking back into my coffee cup, and then my eyes darted back to Jack, judging his reaction.

I'm not sure what I had been expecting, but his warm smile defiantly wasn't it. I returned the smile, somewhat hesitantly, and then watched as he got up and started moving around the kitchen, cleaning up.

After a beat, I got up to help him, standing beside him as he washed up. Side by side, his arm brushing by mine every few moments, I felt more relaxed and at ease then I had for while. Even as fatigue was nipping at my heels, standing with Jack in his kitchen was better then being at home trying to sleep.

Focused as I was on drying up, and not falling face first into the soapy dishwater, Jack's gaze once against settled on me. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the intensity of his eyes. It sent shivers down my spine. That look....

Suddenly, almost like a flash of imagery, I remembered why that particular look was so familiar.

PX9-757. Tok'ra. Atanik armbands.

It had been late the previous year that Jack and I had come to the same conclusion regarding our feelings for each other, but because of our dedication to our work, we'd never discussed it. But when Jack had thought I was going to die, when he wouldn't leave me....he allowed those feelings to surface. As I screamed for him to go and save himself, the sound of the Jaffa behind me getting louder every passing moment, he stood his ground, stubbornly refusing to let me die alone. And I'd seen. In his eyes, his face, his posture, his words. The feelings he carried for me were so strong, they'd made themselves known unbidden. At that precise moment, the love I saw in him for me was overpowering, washing over me, and ultimately breaking my heart. Because of that love, he was willing to die then live without me.

After we'd gotten back to the SGC, alive, we'd tried to push those feelings back, but like Pandora's Box, once opened, they just wouldn't go back in. But that particular look I'd never witnessed again.

----

:Jack:

Aww crap. Carter's body had gone ridged, her hands still, clutching the glass in her hands so tightly I was afraid she might break it. With delicate control, she breathed in, deeply, trying to clam herself, then slowly, her breathing still deep, she turned to face me.

Emotions played across her eyes, the deep blue pools of intelligence were full of shock and confusion, and I mentally kicked myself. I'd tried so hard to control myself around her. Tried to relax and act like my heart wasn't aching by just the smell of her. But it hadn't worked, and now she knew. I wasn't sure entirely how, but there was no mistaking the look on her face.

I'd seen it before.

The last time I'd allowed myself to feel for her, she'd had the same look of helplessness on her face as she did now. Wishing she could help, but knowing it was completely out of her hands.

She took a step back, then carefully placed the glass back on the dish rack. Her eyes refused to meet mine.

"I should go." She murmured, and I had no words for her.

I watched, helpless, as she gave Whiskey a pat good bye, and left my house.

----

:Sam:

I practically fled to my car. My heart was pounding in my ears, and finally out of Jack's presences I let out an explosive breath, trying to control my rapid pulse. I got to my car, leaning against it, letting my breathing slow.

When I'd looked at him directly, that same, open look of longing was still on his face, not able, or not willing to hide it.

And, just as before, all those years ago, it had stirred something deep within me that I thought I'd put away for good. When I'd met Guy, I was certain that I'd lost all romantic feelings I'd had for Jack.

I was wrong.

---()----)(--

As some of you may or may not know, Richard Dean Anderson owned an Australian Sheppard a long long time ago, back in his Macgyver days, called Whiskey. RDA's long term companion passed away in '89', so this is my own lil (belated) tribute.

Don't forget to Read and Review!!


	7. Chap 7

A/N – Yay! Another chapter! is getting better at this Thanks EVERYONE for their reviews and for sticking with me! Am having so much fun writing this!

Massive thanks to Fi for all her help! You rock chicky babe! (this is cos I (Fi/Angel of Fire SG1) am posting this cos Kat's comp is throwing a hissy fit)

This chapter goes too the strange and wonderful fellows at FSF for keeping me amused, fueling my obsession and for becoming my new home.

Feeback – Reading requirement!! Please no silent readers!

-------

:Sam:

I drove home slowly, trying not to think about what had just happened. Things were bad enough without the sudden knowledge that Jack still had feelings for me. I wish I could put it down to my imagination, a hallucination brought on by my lack of sleep that held no weight, but I knew better. I sighed, wishing I could purge that bit of information from my memory.

I pulled in home just as Guy was leaving. His smile of relief at seeing me made me feel a twinge of guilt for what had happened earlier that day with Jack, and Guy's hug was full of affection.

"I'll be home early tonight." He promised, kissing my forehead gently, "You'll be home?"

I nodded dumbly, enjoying the feel of my husband's arms around me. After watching him leave for work, I padded into my house and promptly fell asleep.

-----

When Guy returned home, Chinese takeaway was elaborately arrayed on dinner plates, the table set with candles, the music playing soft and a fire roaring in the corner. It was probably the most perfect dinner I'd ever arranged, the first I'd ever made for my husband, and the stress of burning my first attempt early that evening was worth the happiness on Guy's face.

Smoke and the distinct smell of charred beef still wafted from the kitchen, which Guy pointedly ignored, and the end of the evening found us snuggled on the couch in front of the dying embers, my head on his shoulder as Guy told me about the classes he was teaching.

Only half listening, my mind wandered back to earlier that day. At one stage the phone had rung, and I'd stood and stared at it until the machine picked it up and Jack had left a hesitant request for me to call him. My heart went out to him, sympathy for a man in love with a woman he could never have.

I'd tried to kid myself all morning how shocked I was of my discovery. That finding out Jack was suddenly in love with me was an abrupt and unexpected thing, but after a decent sleep, my rational mind had brought me back to reality.

Jack has been in love with me for a very long time, and I'd known it for almost as long as it had been happening. Feelings forever bubbling at the surface, we'd become masters at ignoring. Pushing them back into the deep recesses of our brain, where they only surfaced during extreme circumstances. As time past, that love turned into something else. A friendship, bonded tighter then most. Sure we still loved each other, cared for each other, would give our lives for the other....but it had long since stopped being about sleeping together. Without words, we'd somehow come to the same conclusion that we didn't need a physical relationship to continue to deep friendship we had.

But now.....I had the sinking suspicion that Jack had gotten over that. He wanted more. The intensity of his gaze still sent shivers through me. Guy had never looked at me like that.

Never looked at me with such raw emotion. His love had shown through with no barriers. The fact that I was never meant to see it made it more bittersweet. Jack was no longer in denial about his feelings, and no longer felt need to keep them hidden from himself, but was well aware of the fact that he had to keep them from me.

As Guy spoke softly, I let a tear shed for Jack. For the pain that I knew I was causing him, however unintentionally, every single day I didn't return that blinding love. For while I loved Jack as a friend, I'd made my decision.

I was _in_ love with Guy, and I planned never to break the vow I'd made to him. And I knew, for the rest of my life, I would die, a little bit every single day, wondering just how deep my feelings were for Jack, and I'd forever dream about what might have been.

-----

:Jack:

I strolled into the SGC a few days later, dreading the confrontation between myself and Carter. On the outside I was still calm, my tight smile quick to surface, and my sarcastic wit at the ready, but it was all automatic, pre-programmed responses to situations I dealt with every day of my life. What I didn't have a response for was Carter's reaction when I saw her again. She hadn't spoken to me since she left so quickly that night I messed up, and I still wasn't sure what she was thinking.

I searched the base for her, knowing I wanted to get this over and done with quickly. Spending the day worrying about what Carter thought about me would not be productive for our strategy meetings.

I found her in her lab, standing at her desk, her head bent over several sheets detailing the plans of something I couldn't see. Beside her was another lab technician, whose finger was indicating certain sections while Carter's head bobbed up and down in agreement. To my direct right, two more scientists in lab coats considered a large clip board, while yet another woman in a lab coat crouched beside a large, somewhat intimidating structure, over seven feet tall, which could have been anything from a planetary defense system, to an overly exotic coffee machine.

Getting Carter alone was going to be difficult.

I stood for a long moment, watching her, my thoughts on the events that lead me to be standing in that doorway, watching that particular woman, when suddenly she raised her head.

I tensed, waiting, as her eyes locked on to mine. I had no idea what I would find there.

And then she smiled. A warm, if hesitant, smile, and relief flooded through me. Never before had I cherished her smile as much as I did at that moment. Any doubt I had was gone, every twinge of worry snuffed out by that split second moment. Sam understood. Perfectly.

I could never be sure how I knew exactly. How one smile could tell me that Carter understood I was in love with her, that she knew I'd never press it, and that she was content to let me continue to pretend we were just friends, but I did.

And I also knew, from the way her eyes dropped back to her work, that the tiny, small candle of hope I'd been keeping against the possibility that she may be in love with me back, was effectively snuffed out.

-----

:Sam:

Weeks later, I hopped out of my car out the front of my house. Long before, Guy had claimed the garage with his own car, as mine spent more time in the Chyanne Mountain then it did at home, but now I wished I'd insisted on him keeping it free for me. Even as I walked away, frost started to build along the edges of my windscreen, and I dreaded having to start the car early tomorrow morning after it had been sitting exposed to the elements all night.

The first faint light of dawn was brimming over the horizon, and it was practically freezing outside, heavy clouds pregnant with snow blanketing the lightening landscape in a dull gray. My head down against the chill, I hurried to my front door, opening it quietly and slipping in. Guy would be up soon, but I felt it a cruel injustice to rob him of the last few moments of sleep. Glancing towards the stairs, I let a small smile creep over my lips, and I headed into the kitchen.

Guy woke a little later then I'd anticipated, and his pancakes were falling quickly into the cold zone when I presented them to him in bed, but my dutiful husband didn't say a word as he ate them slowly.

In fact, the silence, so unusual, had started to stretch into eternity. As I sat there, I could almost feel the tension as it descended. Like a blanket, it fell from the sky and covered us both, and I realized, with a sick twist of my stomach, that something was wrong.

Unsure how to broach the subject of Guy's brooding manner, I searched desperately for a topic. Anything to break the sudden chill of the room, despite the heater in the corner.

"You think it'll snow today?" I cringed at the patheticness of my attempt, that I couldn't find something besides the weather to discuss with my husband.

Guy's eyes flickered to mine, his lips pressed tightly together in an attempt to keep his annoyance in check. "Do you know what day it is Sam?" he asked in way of response. Obviously, he'd seen through my lame attempted to break the ice, but at least now I'd gotten a response.

Focusing on his question, I tried to think. While vaguely aware that it was November, individual dates had become a blur since my promotion, days bleeding in to each other. With the time difference at the Alpha site, I gained an extra day for every week I spent there, and so I worked from day to day, only knowing what I had scheduled the day after. I didn't know what weekends were anymore, my rare days off granted by the General when he felt confident of not needing me for twenty four hours.

"Tuesday?" I hazard a guess, which was met by a gruff, exasperated sigh from Guy.

"Thursday." He corrected, and then his eyes locked on to mine, "The eighteenth."

I blinked, trying to connected the day with an event. I came up with nothing, my confusion etched all over my face.

Guy's jaw tightened as he flung the covers off of his knees, "That comes two days after the sixteenth." He spoke through gritted teeth as he got out of the bed.

Suddenly it clicked, and my hand came quickly to cover my mouth, which had opened in a silent 'o'. Guy didn't wait for my reaction, moving into the bathroom, leaving me to sit on our bed alone with the knowledge that I'd forgotten our anniversary. Three years and two days ago, Guy and I gone on our first date. It felt like another life time ago. And with our anniversary was....

Guilt swept through me like a tidal wave, washing over my heart. I closed my eyes, unable to believe I'd forgotten, not only our anniversary, but also my husbands birthday. The love of my life had celebrated the day of his birth and I hadn't been there. I swallowed hard, remembering the romantic night he'd given me on my own birthday, and how I'd promised myself that night how special I was going to make his own.

I heard the shower start in the other room, and slowly dragged my self off of the bed I hadn't slept in for over a week. A stray thought to joining my husband in the shower left as quickly as it had come, my giddy mood at returning to see the man I loved disappearing as swiftly as the water which I could hear gurgling down the drain. While I knew I was in the wrong, while I knew I deserved his anger, I felt a childish stab of annoyance towards him. So rarely did he see me, he was still willing to pick a fight with me on the occasions that he did.

Shaking my head against the ill thoughts, I headed downstairs to make coffee. As I poured out a fresh cup, Guy joined me downstairs, his hair still wet from the shower. My eyes swept over him, my heart thudding painfully in my chest as I took in his soft features, finding myself comparing him to the only other man I'd felt I'd ever really loved. Really, he was the complete opposite of Jack, who was rugged in his good looks, years of harsh climates and several decades of military service leading a hardness to him that came across as endearing, as apposed too some military commanders I'd known with no personality at all.

Guy's good looks still boarded on boyish; smooth skin that was quick to smile and a charm that seemed to want to impress everyone.

Jack was quite content not being the most popular person at the party, as long as he came away with what he wanted; a quiet resilience that drew you to him, for the very fact that he wasn't flaunting any charm.

I watched my husband with concerned eyes, trying desperately to think of a way to make it up to him. Irritation was wafting off of him in waves, and the tension was getting unbearable.

"Dinner?"

My voice caused Guy to jump, the silence had been so complete that the noise was almost out of place, echoing across the empty kitchen.

His head snapped up to look at me, bewildered.

"Look....Guy, I'm sorry. How about Dinner?" I forced a smile to my lips, "Are you coming home tonight?"

Guy looked at me over the rim of his coffee cup, considering. I felt another flash of annoyance at the thought that he had to make up his mind on whether he'd come and see me or not, when he nodded.

"Dinner sounds great." He finished his coffee, and left without another word to finish getting ready for work.

As he left the house, I grabbed his arm to stop him, "I love you."

With a tight smile, that gave me the impression of a father humoring his daughter, Guy planted a soft kiss on my forehead, his hand squeezing my arm in a silent goodbye.

I stood staring at the window as his car backed out of the driveway and he was gone.

-----

:Jack:

"Lunch?"

Carter stood with an amused smile on her lips, eyeing the bags of food I'd brought as an offering. Snow was slowly drifting across the grey sky, and I gave an involuntary shiver. If she didn't invite me in soon, she was going to have a permeate ice statue on her porch.

As I pointed out this amusing fact, she let out a breath of laughter, ushering me over the threshold. As she set out plates and cutlery, I took a brief moment to look at her and came to a quick conclusion.

"What's up Carter?"

Her head turned quickly around to look at me, trying to seem confused, but it didn't work. "Oh...it's nothing."

I didn't pry. I couldn't. The ache in my heart at not having her was now a constant companion, a dull emptiness I carried around with me, and it only proved to remind me that I had no rights in her anymore. Prying into her domestic affairs with Guy - which I had the suspicion this was about - was not my concern.

We sat down for lunch, but I hadn't put the first forkful into my mouth before the shrill tone of Carters cell phone echoed through the kitchen. Carter let out something that could have been a snort of irritation, placing her own uneaten mouthful back on the plate as she reached over to pick the phone up.

"Carter."

Carter barely spoke three words the entire conversation, which lasted a grand total of 20 seconds. It ended with, "I'll be right there." Before the words were out of her mouth, Carter was on her feet, military efficiency drilled until it was a fine art had her almost ready and out the door before I could speak.

"Trouble?"

She nodded, throwing her bag over her shoulder, "They think Lt. Newman is trapped inside that plant they brought back."

She reached the door, then stopped, looking back over at me, "Sorry Jack."

"Go Carter." I told her with a tight, but warm smile. "I'll let myself out."

She nodded, then was gone. I glanced back at the plate full of food, suddenly not hungry. Moving the crispy lettuce around with my fork for a moment I contemplated my next move, realizing with a stab of self loathing that by the end of the day I'd be back at base. There was no use trying to pretend I had something better to do. I'd agreed to have this day off because I knew Carter did too. And now she wasn't home to enjoy the day with, I didn't feel like being on my own. I dug my palm into my eye, knowing how dangerous my position was. Being in love with another man's wife was never comfortable, doubly so when said person had far too much sense to interfere with the married couple simply for his own gain. Sometimes I wish I didn't have that sense. That I could whisk Carter away from Guy and have her all to myself. But I knew how much she loved him, and I would never be able to live with myself if I did. Or if she'd even come with me if I asked her.

Picking up the plates, I started to pack it back up when Carters house phone rang. I contemplated it for a few rings before reaching over to answer it.

"O'Neill."

There was a pause, "Jack?"

I grimaced, "Guy."

"What are you doing there?"

I wasn't sure if the question was meant to sound so hostile, but instantly I felt defensive, "Having lunch." I told him tersely, wondering if he was trying to imply something or if I was just paranoid.

"Where's Sam?"

"She's uh....indisposed." I closed my eyes tight, wishing even as the words left my mouth that I hadn't said them. Guy was so deathly quiet on the other end of the phone that I had to keep talking, "She got called back to base. Some emergency."

"Did she say when she was getting home?"

I could hear the iciness of Guys voice. Here was one very unhappy man, and I had the sinking suspicion that I was making it worse. I tried to think of a diplomatic way to tell Guy that Carter had more important things to do then keep him happy, "Probably not for a couple of days. You know how important Carter's work is to her."

I think I failed. Guy hung up with a grunt that could have been a goodbye, and I wearily put the phone down. A tiny part of me was screaming for joy that Guy was getting sick of Carter's devotion to the SGC, but the rest of me was scared of what it meant for Sam. I knew there was nothing that would take Carter away from her work, but I felt a small stab of dread in the pit of my stomach when I thought of how she'd take Guy's sudden aggravation to her devotion to something that wasn't him.


	8. Chap 8

A/N: Hello folks! I wrote this awhile back. The original chapter was a lot longer, but it wasn't finished, and now my muse has gone awandering, so I figured you guys deserved something while we waited for her majesty to return to me.

PLEASE don't forget to review! It'll help my muse come out of hiding! (I hope!)

Flames will be fed to my dragon (with you along with it)

(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)

:Sam:

"_You have to leave him behind."_

I stared at the computer blankly, the figures on the screen just a blur behind the tears I refused to let fall.

"_SGC personnel only. Be ready to ship out 0900 Monday morning."_

It was Friday afternoon.

"...suggested sending the Alpha Teams though a week or so early. Just incase our calculations are off."

It was exactly 10 days before the estimated first contact with the Goa'uld.

"I know leaving your families will be difficult. But remember people; this is for the continuation of the human race. Your sacrifice will ultimately bring our salvation."

I wanted to kill him. I wanted to shove my P90 down his throat and never take my finger off the trigger.

The words the General had uttered a few hours earlier were running through my head, his voice mocking me as it spelled out my worst nightmares in intricate detail.

"...Leave your families..."

I squeezed my eyes shut, wanting to block the words from my mind. Somehow, through some great act of denial on my part, I'd managed not to think about what being in command of the Alpha site actually meant. But now it was staring me in the face and I couldn't run from it anymore.

I had exactly two days to tell the man I loved that I was never going to see him again.

A sob got caught half way in my throat, and I stubbornly pushed it away, digging my palm into my eye in an attempt to keep back the tears. I was _not_ going to cry. I opened my eyes back up in an attempt to focus on my work, but the screen was a watery blur. The tears, more stubborn then I, refused to leave, and my bottom lip trembled as the first one fell, trailing down my cheek.

Wearily I stood up, closing down my computer and gathering my work. I couldn't put it off any longer. My mind was in conflict: part of it screaming at me to stay and avoid the confrontation between myself and Guy, knowing it would only end badly, and the other pushing and prodding me to enjoy the last few hours I ever would have with him.

Our relationship had been strained for months now, the tension in my house almost reaching unbearable heights whenever I was home. And the worst thing was, I never had the time to feel bad about it. My time was so consumed at the SGC, that it wasn't until I was walking through my front door that I remembered my life wasn't full of roses.

As I left the mountain, I realized that it didn't matter anymore. When confronted about their ability to defend Earth, the SGC was skeptical at best...bottom line was; if the Goa'uld attacked there wasn't much they could about it.

Which meant...I closed my eyes again as I pulled up at the security gate. It meant that anyone left behind on Earth was either going to die or be enslaved. Which included the man I loved.

And Jack.

(O)(o)(O)(o)(O)

It was late in the evening when I got home. I'd called earlier and Guy had dinner ready. Well...more to the point he had my dinner already glad wrapped and ready to stick in the fridge.

Ouch.

I ignored the gesture, removing the wrap as Guy sat down at the table. His eyes swept over me as I joined him, and I couldn't help shiver at the hungriness in them. Like an animal starved, I could almost picture him devouring me in his mind. Guilt was a constant in my life, the voice in my head telling me I was a horrible wife for ever making this man sleep in an empty bed.

I could only take small comfort in the sadistic thought that soon it would be all over for Guy, and he wouldn't spend the rest of his life with the knowledge that his wife loved her work more then him.

The night went smoothly, my dark little secret tucked deep inside me through dinner, the late night movie, and the frantic love making afterwards. Almost as if Guy sensed this could be the last time he would ever have me. I spent Saturday in his arms, and with every second that passed, it drew closer to having to leave him.

I wrestled deep inside of myself. Should I tell him? That I was leaving him forever, but not to worry because he would most likely die in the ensuing weeks? My heart wrenched, but I tried desperately to hide the tears from my husband. I wanted the weekend to be perfect.

Sunday came. Guy's surprise at having me home for two days turned into suspicion, his eyes narrowing, and I could almost see the gears inside of his head working. But instead of accusing, he waited until we were driving home from dinner out before speaking.

"Do you remember on our honeymoon?" He asked, glancing at me before his eyes darted back onto the road, "What you said?"

I nodded, "I remember."

He looked at me again, "Times almost up."

I remembered that too. It was almost exactly six months since Guy and I had gotten married, when I'd sat him down in our honeymoon sweet and promised him I'd quit the air force for him.

"It's nearly over." The voice sounded like it belonged to someone else. I almost felt like a stranger, staring down at another woman in the car as she lied through her teeth to her husband, "I have to go away for a little while...and then I'll be home for good."

I felt physically sick, hating every inch of myself. How dare I abuse his trust this way. How dare I sit here, pleasantly telling him in a few short weeks I'd finally behave like the wife I was. I knew there was a simple solution, but try as I might, I couldn't tell him the truth.

That night, I made love to my husband, burning the very feel of him into my memory. His features were etched into my brain as I memorized every inch of him. He slept, and I sat awake, just watching.

It wasn't even dawn when I slipped out of my husbands arms. Moving silently I collected my things, knowing this would be the last time I stepped foot in that room. Ready, I stopped at the edge of the bed, staring down at the sleeping form of the man I loved. His skin soft, his mouth slack, he looked like a little boy in the darkness, so naïve and unaware of the dangers around him. And like a parent unwilling to expose such an innocent soul, I had shielded him from them.

Closing my eyes against the thoughts of my duplicity, I reached down, planting a soft, final kiss against his forehead. Guy didn't even stir.

Gathering my gear, I headed out, careful not to slip on the wet pavement. Chin high, eyes clear, I made my way to my car, got in, and drove away without ever looking back.

With the streets empty in the pre-dawn morning, my trip didn't take long, and I parked outside of Jack's house and killed the engine before it woke anyone. Without thought I got out and started towards his house. I couldn't think. Wouldn't allow myself too, knowing I would be opening a door to a room full of emotions I wasn't ready to deal with.

I reached Jack's door and I paused, listening. By all accounts Jack should be sleeping, and I wondered, suddenly, if I should wake him. While it hadn't occurred to me before, unexpectedly showing up on Jacks doorstep at three in the morning probably wasn't the smartest of moves.

A high pitched, rapid fire puppy bark started to my left, and I could hear Whiskey pawing at the fence to the side of the house. Quickly, hoping the dog wouldn't wake the neighbors, I moved to the fence, opening up the gate enough to slip through without letting Whiskey out. Getting down on my haunches, I scooped the pup into my arms, and Whiskey fell instantly silent, his soft tongue licking my cheek.

"Carter?"

My head shot up at the sound of Jack's voice, and I let Whiskey down, standing up, "Jack?"

"Come on up."

I kept walking around to the back of the house; Jack was staring down at me over the railing of the observation deck on his roof. Carefully climbing the ladder, I didn't speak until I was standing beside him, "How did you know it was me?"

"Whiskey." Jack indicated to the overeager puppy, who's front paws were on the first wrung of the ladder as he looked up at us with woeful eyes, "Barks at everything that moves." He paused again and smiled, "Except when it's you."

I nodded, and smiled in spite of myself. I raised my gaze, taking in the star filled sky, at the moon that burned so brightly, bathing us with enough light that I could see Jack's features perfectly.

Or maybe I had spent so many hours studying his face I could see it when I closed my eyes.

I lowered my head, to find Jack studying me intently, his face somehow softer, but his eyes no less intense. He knew as well as I did why I was there.

"Couldn't sleep?"

"It's your last night on Earth Carter." He said by way of explanation, his smile almost mocking. His fingers moved to cap the end of his telescope, then he sat down, gesturing me to do the same.

Opting out of the single chair across the landing, I moved to sit next to him, almost falling into the seat as weariness took over me. The entire weekend had been a roller coaster of emotions, and I really wanted off.

The silence stretched, but I felt comfortable in it, just enjoying the company of a man who had never, the entire time I had known him, let me down.

"I'll miss you."

(O)(o)(O)(o)(O)

:Jack:

Carter looked at me suddenly, and I realized numbly that I'd spoken out loud. She seemed to be studying me, trying to gauge if I really meant it, when her eyes fell shut as she drew in a shuddering breath.

I could only guess to what she was thinking, and my heart went out to her. She looked devastated. I wanted to tell her it would be okay, but I knew it wouldn't. My Sam was going to leave me. I hadn't dwelt on it too much...analyzing my feelings had never been my strong point, but having Carter here was driving the point home. And suddenly I couldn't hold back anymore. Ever respectful of Sam's marriage, I'd stayed a healthy distance from the woman I loved, but something in my brain had just snapped. Her last night on Earth, and damned if I wasn't going to enjoy it with her.

Slowly, almost by its own accord, my hand shifted. Carter's eyes opened at the movement, and she watched mutely as I reached over, brushing my fingers gently over the back of her hand. Her eyes darted to mine, full of questions, and I held her gaze. She looked back down at my hand, which had halted enough for her to pull away if she chose. I wouldn't dare go further if Carter didn't encourage me.

Sam, the woman who held my heart, her breath hitched, kept still. Her eyes found mine again, and I suddenly looked away, satisfied I wasn't going to far, concentrating on our hands as I slowly entwined our fingers.

Carter's fingers moved slightly to make my job easier, then her hand squeezed mine gently. I looked up to see a single tear drop from her eye.

With my other hand I reached up, my thumb catching the delicate drop as the rest of my fingers curled around her chin, just gently touching her perfect skin.

"I'll miss you too." Her words were but a whisper, and then she turned to me fully, her other hand reaching up to grab the one holding her face, her eyes alight with tears that refused to fall, "Jack...if things had been different..." her eyes fell shut, the hand holding my gripping me tighter, "I know I have to ...but I don't want to leave you Jack."

Sam was talking so fast, her sentences clipped and her voice had a strange, horse quality to it that scared me more then facing a whole mothership full of Jaffa.

I had to stop this. Her emotions were careening out of control. This was not the Sam I knew. I searched for something, anything that would bring her back to earth.

Afterwards, I would kick myself for a fool. For being so utterly stupid. But at the time it seemed perfectly acceptable. As Sam's eyes opened I lent forward, my hand once again finding her face, cupping her chin. If her eyes winded in surprise, I didn't notice. I shifted on the bench, bringing her closer to me, and I found no resistance. It seemed an eternity, like a giant void had opened up between us, and I spent years closing the gap. Anticipation was making me quiver like a school boy on his first date. We were close now, I could feel her breath against my face. In my hands, her body trembled.

And then I kissed her.

Softly my lips found her's, gently probing, hesitant and unsure. Her lips were soft, moist and tremulous. This kiss was chaste, but I felt a flare of passion spark between us. Sam hand gripped mine tightly as she gave a gentle nip on my lower lip.

I could have lived a lifetime in that moment, my arms wrapped around the woman I loved on a rooftop under the stars. I could almost forget that she belonged to another, of the coming war and her immediate departure.

But all too soon she was pulling away, her luscious lips freeing themselves of mine. Gently, Sam rested her forehead against mine, her breathing labored, which surprised me. I held onto my last shed of will not to kiss her again. It was all I wanted, one more kiss: one more caress and one more lover.

I swallowed hard, and Sam's forehead came to rest against my shoulder.

"I love you Jack."

My whole body tensed. I wanted to believe her, I wanted to tell her not to go, to stay and live the rest of her life with me, however short that life might be.

Instead I squeezed her tightly, hugging her for the last time, and when I spoke, my voice wasn't even a whisper. Just the passing of air across my lips.

"Sometimes, I really wish you did."

(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)

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